In your early 20s… Wow, I had so much energy back then. man keep your head up. For me, it still happens that the things I used to enjoy become boring. Absolutely. Most of the friends you made in HS/college were friends of convenience. Speaking of a good mental state. Thats normal. In popular psychology, a quarter-life crisis is a crisis "involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life" which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person's early twenties up to their mid-thirties (although a quarter-life crisis can begin as early as 18). Share via facebook; Share via twitter; Share via whatsapp; SMS Share via SMS; Share via e-mail; Leave a comment. I'm chasing my dreams but I still have my doubts. That is what is so hard, choosing. I lost my dad in december 2013 and your post put my feelings into words. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If I’ve learned anything its that we are all in the same boat for the most part. You actually know how to pay your taxes correctly now, and you finally go to a doctor that isn’t your pediatrician! By Catherine Pearson. You had great expectations. In Meg Jay’s book The Defining Decade, she describes twenty-somethings in a way that every twenty-something can intimately recognize: “I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean. And I was left feeling … and moving forward, I would want is to . Let's commiserate and share wisdom and experience. Photograph: Jeffrey Blackler/Alamy . Maybe you don’t feel like your life is where it’s supposed to be right now or you’re at an all-time low. On health. It was expected that you were to enter your mid-20s with the expectations that you know what to do, made some life decisions that will affect the rest of your life, and be independent from many things. You can do anything. This is how I got into hiking, by being broke but wanting to do something. Today's world is far from that paradigm. If you want things in life, you have to put in the effort to reach out and grasp it. How It Really Feels To Be An 'Unintentional Virgin' In Your 20s And 30s. Edit: Grammar fix, but not the one suggested below. Still I'm gonna go after it whether I succeed or fail. Look in to having the house gifted to you. My way of sticking it to the man who wants to go all grammar nazi on my admiration of someone that can maintain such a high level of commitment. A dream? Journal During This Time. Wow, I had so much energy back then. If you accept this idea in your 20s instead of later on, you'll have more time to act freely, without fearing that you look like an idiot. Listen. It’s true! I traveled, I took jobs just because they seemed fun to do, I didn't give a shit about anyone but me. Just throw some food and water in a bag and go walk in the woods. Very common actually. Post Views: 3,138. Bam! There's alot of talk of 'feeling old' or feeling like they've gone down the wrong development path. Dr. Jay provides a smart and practical guide to making the most of these transformative years. Work environment, no growth, and the overall feel that I'm just average and not doing anything special. Her inspiring novel, #GIRLBOSS, is talking to those girls who are in the same position she was in in her early 20s. Just dont let it be the only thing you think about. In my state the govt can only take assets that were in her name up to 5 years prior to her death. Only your soul knows what you really want in life. Start a company on the side, become a volunteer, go into politics, find a hobby that you do care about. If this is something you’re going through – don’t give up. I feel Reddit is full of people in their 20's who lack direction and feel that they're wasting their life. In your 20s and 30s, divorce just isn’t something people do that much. I think I gave you feedback that you weren’t interested in hearing, and I think my mistake was assuming that you’d be better off if you heard what I felt I needed to say. Also, your parents are going to kick you out of the house soon. We have to find new things. I cant afford to move out of my mother's house, I cant afford to fix my car, I cant afford my bills, I cant afford to pay off my debt and live at the same time. Didn't play a single riff for months at a time. Eat good, get exercise, watch your weight, these will keep your body younger even as time marches on. I graduated and ended up moving back home whilst I looked for my first "proper job" which didn't happen. Whilst the MSc eventually worked out, I was 29 before I started the career path I am currently on. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the AskMenOver30 community, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. It’s okay to feel lost in your 20’s. Get on a path where you are feeling good. But the most important thing to do when you are feeling lost in life is to reconnect with your inner self. 1. I think your feelings are quite normal at any age. Smart and talented, you looked forward to your happy ending: waking up every morning excited for work that paid well, charismatic colleagues who were also great mentors, and lots of after-work time to have fun. I didn't get married till I was 35 and have only just had a child at 37, although those things aren't essentials so I wouldn't worry about it. The world is different than decades ago for 20-some year olds. O ya that's lacking to. For a couple of years I just didn't feel like it.. As much as I dreaded entering my 30s, I remembered how fragile and turbulent my early 20s (heck, my entire 20s) were. Just remind yourself regularly that you're not really lost. Until you are 30, you get a free pass to be a fuck-around in America. I'm pursuing football for r/CFL but I know I can't rely on that based on odds. ... Change is the currency of your 20s. Society is the biggest letdown. It’s usually in your 20s that you learn some of your friends may be fun to hang out with on a Saturday night, but aren’t the best peer mentors when it comes to career stuff. Start learning to save even in your 20s so you can feel ready when retirement comes around. Going “conservative” in your 20s is something you really, really should debate. Don't waste your 20s or your youth fretting over this or that. This isn't what I expected life to be like. This isn't what I expected life to be like. For me, I wore myself out fucking around until I was about 30. K atherine, 25, grew up in a conservative Pennsylvania town and went to schools where the only sex education was abstinence-based. February 10, 2017. Most of my friends and I left New York, so no more impromptu beers around the kitchen table. What was the last thing you worked on that you got excited about? Of course, life never automatically gets better, but it tends to get better if you pay attention and adapt. You do your best to remember why being a 20-something really is the best time in your life and why you should strive to be more fabulous every day, even if it is just to show your haters how to hate. ... regular exercise in your 20s can help prevent health issues down the line. You're not losing friends. I got my bachelor's degree but I don't know what I'm doing with my life. And yet here you are today: feeling lost. You are not alone. I am 22 and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who had these feelings. I'm just going through the motions, nothing matters. It sounds to me like you're sort of stuck in a rut, man. Your 20s are now being called “The Defining Decade” and are largely considered some of the most important years of your life. Can I ask what were the specific expectations? We looked for the best tips on life, careers, and happiness. But until then, game fucking on. And advice on making it better from ladies who have been there, done that *and* survived . If When you get through it, you'll be a hell of a person in my book. Employed or not, we can still have this feeling. For example, I've played guitar since I was around 12. 30 May, 2018 by Ariana Dickson. Further sharing what are the benefits of feeling lost in 20s and how it brings a great life ahead. Being a 20-something can be intense. Hating your job sucks. You are not required to do these things if you don't want to do them. While some would perceive their early 20s as a stage where in they can enjoy life and do things they wanted without having to worry for the future, there are a certain percentage of people out there that are still feeling lost. Life...it's funny sometimes, you know? Yes, it gets better when your 20's are over. Do you have a gf? You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later. The reality is, most 57-year-olds don’t even have their lives figured out. Change is something you work for. Point is, your passion for the things you used to enjoy can strike back just like that, given that you're in a good mental state. It sucks not having money to do whatever you want, but you should still be able to find things you can do within your budget. Do you even want one? Learn Through Reading. I don't have the same interests that I did when I was 23, but there are certain things I would love to go back and tell myself to do differently. The unanswered questions, the flaws, the feeling like you have no freaking idea what you’re doing – it’s all okay. "I'm not what I think I am, I'm not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am. Feeling Lost in Your 20s Why It's OK to Feel Lost. That said, if you want kids you want to have them before 35. Every time I go to a new city I intentionally get lost. Turing 25 is sorta cool. My government health insurance doesn't cover dental so I cannot afford the 4 grand to get my teeth fixed. Do you have a passion? Journal During This Time. 9 Reasons Dating in Your 20s Is the Worst. You are a good person. EMAIL. I went through this about video games in my later 20s. No where in your post did you mention current relationships. I feel a lot of pressure to get my life and career going. It really fucking sucks when 99% of your problems in life that cause you to cry yourself to sleep at night, are from not having enough money to fix them. Finding something to do outside of work that you find satisfying is important. You lose people all the time in your twenties and they are not always in the ‘lost and found’ bin or in a coffin. The same boat for the best tips on life has become boring really, really should debate *..., these will keep your body younger even as time marches on trying to smart! 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